You know when you hear of a concept, or idea for the first time, and you think "that's kinda cool - how come I’ve never heard of that before?", and then you hear it again - repeatedly? Well - it happened to me this week...
I was discussing my blog-post 'soul sucker', which relates the importance of powerful, positive energy in the competitive space, with Bolton and Wales defender Sam Ricketts, and he said "oh - you mean 'radiators and drains'". I'm assuming this is a British saying, because growing up mostly in North America, I had never heard of it...and even having spent the last two and a half years in London, I had never come across it. But since that brief chat with Sam - less than a week ago - I have come across it twice more. Once was this morning, while I was doing my daily web-read.
I read a short piece on psychcentral.com by Gretchen Rubin that was quite interesting. After introducing the subject, she wrote about the sometimes paradoxical nature of 'radiators and drains':
“Perhaps counter-intuitively, in my experience, some people who are quite low-energy nevertheless act as radiators — because it’s not their personal verve that matters, but their level of engagement and quality of their ideas.
And some people who are very high-energy and gung-ho end up being drains, because they somehow make things harder instead of easier, or put a damper on other people’s observations and ideas”.
This is similar to what I wrote last week. Rubin defines the concept by asking whether a person or situation makes you feel energized or not. Not whether the person or situation has energy. A subtle, but important distinction. I have seen many coaches and therapists that are not 'energetic' by nature (and I am one), but would not be considered 'drains'. Conversely, there are many that are bouncing off the walls, but leave you wanting to kill yourself.
So what is it exactly about a person's character that makes other feel 'energized'? Are there defining characteristics? Important questions to ask for the therapist and coach, for 'just being happy and positive' is not enough.
This is my blog. Click here.
ReplyDeletefriendsofbcfc"
friendsofbcfc"
Welcome to the new world.
ReplyDeletesoccergoalclub.com
soccercandy69.com/